monster in the making

i've realized that, you like

to:

(maim, hurt, pull

medowntotheground

and climb over my

creepycrawly

body in order to boost yourself

up up

up.

send a rock sailing through

this glass that's housing the

confidense that i've been growing

eversopainstakingly.

you

stopstartstopstart,

and so I

startstopstartstop

walking with my tail between my legs,

running when i hear steps behind me.)

you thrive on it.

i do not.

one in six BILLION

you

can go ahead and stand up

now,

it's hard to pick you out,

you're one in a crowd of six billion, and

i'm starting to wonder

if i'll ever fucking find you.

i can't hear you

scratch that.

you're amplified, roaring screaming

pushing me down down down.

i crawl beneath your gaze and

drown in this pool that

has become

me myself and

i